People think that being a good multi-tasker, something research says is impossible, means you are able to manage multiple projects. Most employees need to be able to manage different projects at the same time, meeting deadlines and working with others, to be effective.

Among the many topics Cohosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham cover in this important episode on an often-overlooked soft skill are:

  • Differences between multi-tasking and managing multiple projects
  • Why we seem to believe multi-tasking works
  • Technology’s role in this soft skill
  • Are we using our time more effectively?
  • How to get ahead of multiple projects
  • What to do when things are not being well managed
  • Why looking at the Big Picture too much hurts being able to manage multiple projects.
  • A real example of managing a project to ensure it can be managed with other projects
  • How computers switch better than humans
  • Blocking out your day to ensure projects are managed well
  • More tips for ensuring you can juggle multiple projects
  • The other soft skills incorporated into managing multiple projects
  • Addressing the fact that things may go wrong once in a while

Next week

We will be looking at the role of storytelling. While not a soft skill, storytelling plays a huge role in being effective in a job search and in being successful in work situations.

Being focused on the client, whoever that is — both internal and external to the organization — is a critical component of any successful business and a soft skill that we need to understand and incorporate into any business.

Co-hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham explore client focus from two different perspectives — one looking at external customers and the other looking at internal customers.

Among the topics they address:

  • What threats come to from poor customer service
  • How customer service leads to strengthening relationships
  • How language plays into good customer service
  • Sour experiences foretelling of bad reputations
  • Failing to think through what matters to the customers, even if it conflicts with what employees want
  • Collaboration versus siloing as customer service problems
  • Setting shared objectives to deal with a strong client focus
  • Why companies should be looking more closely at external and internal clients
  • Exploring what clients truly need from the organization and how to deliver it
  • Why focus is a key

Next week

We will be exploring the soft skill of being mature, which isn’t about being experienced. They’ll figure it out — or at least attempt to next week on the Serious Soft Skills podcast.

Cohosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham will tackle the soft skill of complying with standards. Sounds boring, right? Well, they’re going to make it interesting. We promise.

Among the topics they will discuss this week are:

  • Why complying with standards is a soft skill
  • The difference between internal and external standards
  • Written and unwritten standards
  • How the subprime mortgage industry breaking key rules caused a financial collapse
  • When standards need to be challenged or questioned
  • How time can require the need to evaluate old standards
  • When to question standards
  • The expectations that organizations have about complying with standards
  • How organizational culture can help with complying with standards

Next week

We will be talking about an important soft skill that forms a foundation for lots of organizational success: client focus.

Our latest Serious Soft Skills Podcast looks at how paying attention to details can help an individual, the team and the organization. But unfortunately, most of us struggle with this important soft skill. Learn why it matters and how to do it better in this episode of Serious Soft Skills.


Cohosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham explore the many important benefits of paying attention to details.

Among the topics they cover:

  • Who benefits from our attention to detail
  • What happens when we don’t pay attention to details
  • How to pay attention to details more effectively
  • Eight hints for better paying attention to details

Next week

The Serious Soft Skills Podcast will explain how complying with standards makes the soft skills list.

Some see the soft skill of collaboration as a valuable soft skill, while others say it stunts creativity. The hosts give their views on these divergent points of view.

 

osts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham explore the various views regarding the soft skill of collaboration as a followup to their discussion in Episode 22 of what collaboration is.

Topics discussed include:

  • Does collaboration kill creativity, as Geoffrey James suggests in an Inc. magazine article, Collaboration Kills Creativity, According to Science?
  • Do teams add or distract from collaboration?
  • Taking academic research to real-world situations
  • How collaboration empowers us to solve problems in this complex business world
  • Can collaboration fall into “group think”?
  • Does collaboration fuel our need for socialization?
  • What problems are better solved as individuals
  • How collaboration creates holistic and effective solutions to complex problems
  • What’s the line between a situation needing collaboration and individual creativity
  • When does collaboration fit into problem-solving
  • When creative processes should call in collaboration
  • Headline writing and collaboration
  • The cost benefit evaluation of collaboration
  • Exploring Morten T. Hansen’s views in the article, When Internal Collaboration Is Bad for Your Company
  • When the cost benefit should be evaluated and what the assessment can accomplish
  • When to quit a project

Next Week

We’ll look at another soft skill, written communication, and how it plays a critical role in relationships and effectiveness.

Collaboration among workers can be the jet fuel for teams, pushing them to solve problems and achieve results that they could not have accomplished separately.

 

Hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss what collaboration is, why it is so beneficial to organizations and what it can deliver to teams and organizations.

Topics discussed include:

  • What collaboration is
  • How people’s perspectives have to align for collaboration to occur
  • Why collaboration gets us to a better spot
  • How collaboration stokes problem-solving
  • The distinction between collaboration for creative endeavors versus collaboration in getting products developed
  • Why collaboration is vital to supply chains and other services
  • What’s a “rallying point” and why do we need it to have successful collaboration
  • A “reel” example of collaboration
  • What underlies any effective collaboration
  • The soft skills that underpin all good collaboration
  • What mutual interdependence is and why it enables good collaboration
  • The best ways for collaboration to start
  • The role of the leader in facilitating collaboration
  • How passion can ignite collaboration

Next Week

Digging deeper into collaboration in the workplace.

Being persuasive is a foundational soft skill that everyone in an organization has a responsibility to use, although it’s vitally important to being a successful leader.

 

 

Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss the soft skill of being persuasive and how it use can spur an organization’s growth.

Among the topics they discuss are:

  • Why being persuasive makes our list
  • How to differentiate between manipulation and persuasion
  • A working definition of persuasion
  • How persuasion leads to “buy-in”
  • How persuasion is about attraction
  • Identifying what makes a proposal fit the goals of an organization and how being persuasive fits in
  • When to set aside an idea because the buy-in is missing
  • Knowing when to move things forward
  • When persuasion becomes office politics and how to avoid it
  • Examples of persuasive arguments
  • How to ask for a raise using persuasion
  • Tips for what any
  • persuasion ultimately needs to include
  • When persuasion can run amok
  • When persuasion reaches coalescence
  • How understanding your audience is critical to any effective persuasion
  • Where an organization’s history plays into persuasion

Next week

We will explore a listener’s timely suggestion for another soft skill to add to our list of 55 soft skills.

Delegation, one of the 55 soft skills, helps determine which human resources to delegate to specific tasks to ensure organizational effectiveness.

In this episode, the hosts, Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham, discuss:

  • What delegation is
  • The intentionality of delegation
  • How return on assets (ROA) plays into deciding when to delegate
  • How delegation can build a better, deeper team
  • When delegation becomes shirking and avoiding the Tom Sawyer approach
  • How to know when good delegation is occurring
  • What managers should always be asking themselves
  • How an article from the Harvard Business Review written in 1974 explains good and bad delegation ( https://hbr.org/1999/11/management-time-whos-got-the-monkey )
  • Why poor delegation is actually worse than no delegation at all
  • The key to ensuring that delegation works well and builds organizations
  • What the closed loop is and how it helps ensure effective delegation

Next week

We’ll discuss being persuasive, why it makes the list of soft skills and how it plays out in the workplace.

Meeting facilitation may not seem like a soft skill, but it can easy serve as a gateway to more productivity and opportunity for leaders, managers and organizations.

 

Hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss the cost and culture surrounding ineffective meetings and why good meetings really do require strong soft skills.

  • In this episode, they discuss:
  • The incredible cost to American companies from unproductive meetings.
  • Why meeting facilitation is on the soft skills list
  • How technology makes meeting planning and management easier
  • Why technology makes meetings even more difficult to facilitate
  • Tips for leading productive meetings
  • Tips for how to be a good meeting attendee
  • Why some meetings might not be necessary
  • The two times that holding a meeting really makes sense
  • Examples of the best and worst meetings
  • The soft skills at play in meetings

Share your best or worst meeting story with them at @RealSoftSkills or at podcast (at) serioussoftskills.com.

Next week’s episode will feature a discussion of the environment in which soft skills operate and how different environments could mean using different soft skills to achieve the same tasks.

Patience makes the list of soft skills. We’ll explain why and how it fosters opportunities at work and in careers.

 

Introduction

Dr. Tobin Porterfield (‘0:20’): Welcome to Serious Soft Skills, Episode 15. With me is Bob Graham. For you newcomers, welcome. Let’s set the stage. We have uncovered a list of 55 soft skills from our review of academic research and our teaching of college students, and our work in diverse industries. We use our keen eye on soft skills to help uncover how they work and how we all can improve them. We look at what they mean and why they matter in today’s workplace.

Porterfield (‘0:48’): Now we are going to take a look at patience. As I say that Bob, I feel like I need to take a deep breath. Let’s. Deal. With. Patience. I feel relaxed when I say it.

Bob Graham (‘1:00’): I have been waiting forever for you to ask me that question. I am at the edge of my seat. Could he have gone any longer with that introduction and the guy with the really good voice that we paid so much money for. Then back to you. I just can’t wait any longer. I am just going to jump right into it.

Porterfield (‘1:23’): Maybe patience isn’t your thing.

Graham (‘1:23’): It is not. I openly admit that. This is one that I cringe to see some of the people who are around me to hear that I am talking about patience. I am not a very patient person. I am hoping we can learn some things from our discussion. I did some research because it is not my strong suit.

Getting a Handle on Basic Patience

Graham (‘1:47’): There was a good article about patience in the Huffington Post in April 2015. It’s by Dr. Heiger Zayed. I apologize if i misstated that name. He really explained where we start with the idea of patience. He say:

Patience gives us the option to cool down and to extend the grace to ourselves and others in the immediate moment — when we need it most. To be patient means we don’t react mindlessly to minor irritations and inconveniences. Patience gives us the freedom to respond in a more kind and gentle way.

Graham (‘2:42’): He ends with a really interesting idea, which is that it is one of the greatest virtues in all religions. And if you think about that, it is really true. We really value patience — like we value gold because it’s hard to find gold. And it’s hard to find patience, and when I find it, it’s often by just luck. I don’t think I am consistent with patience at all and that’s part of the challenge with it. But you want to talk a little differently about patience? Can you explain why it’s a soft skill and why we think it’s important?

How Patience is a Soft Skill

Porterfield (‘3:18’): We cast patience as one of our Individual skills that we bring to the workplace, but it’s not one we naturally bring to any relationship. It is something most of us have to work on, myself included. It gets back to that core element. It can be so damaging to a relationship to not have patiences involved. My concern with including patience or encouraging it in the workplace is that it can run in conflict with the need to be proactive. We want to be careful that we cast patience and some similar ones that we talk about with respect for the people we work with. Empathy is one of them. Patience isn’t about how we deal with time management or how we deal with proactive or taking initiative. Patience doesn’t mean sitting back and letting things come, but as Zayed had said, allowing us to take a breath and think about that next step and not respond in a way that will be inappropriate or damaging. We really are talking about being patient with other people and being patient even with ourselves and our situation. We have to let that develop on its own before we take an action that we may regret.

Graham (‘5:06’): Where I am impatient, it’s usually when I am dealing with other people or team activities, with group assignments where it’s just so slow. I want to get things done. I don’t want perfection. I just want it off the checklist and move to the next thing. And the tension I have sometimes is with people who are perfectionists, who want to do it the right way or get everything exactly 100% right. I just want to get this book closed on Friday afternoon and move to something else on Monday morning. I have found that it’s a good thing to push in some situations, but it can also be detrimental when you start to erode relationships and people start to pigeonhole you as the guy who just wants to rush through things to get things done. Or if they say he’s the guy who doesn’t care about quality. Those can really be detrimental. You said it well when we were prepping this: There’s a natural tension between patience and taking initiative.

Porterfield (‘6:15’): Or even time management or being proactive. 

Recognizing Time Realities

Graham (‘6:19’): Patience also is recognizing that things take a certain amount of time. Trying to get a contract approved by the U.S. government is going to take more than a day. That’s just reality. If you are trying to do other things, it takes time. This podcast takes time. There’s no way around it. It takes time to plan them, to do them, to post-production and it takes time for people to start to listen to them. We could say we will have 1 million listeners on the first day. But that’s not realistic. Some of patience is about being realistic situationally. That patience varies from situation to situation and day to day. When you think about time management, it’s about resource allocation. Sometimes patience for me comes with the allocation of resources. We only have so many hours to devote to this extra project. We only have so many dollars that we can put toward hiring additional staff. That’s just the reality. Sometimes patience is the result of a realistic assessment of the situation. Is that something that comes into play in project management?

Porterfield (‘7:48’): That really gets us to an interesting spot in this discussion. We have talked about patience with other individuals, with dealing with patience with ourselves, and then going to that outer ring of the planet, and recognizing that we have to have patience with the environment. You used the term realistic. 

We have to set realistic expectations for ourselves, but also of how the system’s going to work around us.

Patience in Action

Porterfield (‘8:15’): It gets us to the third area that we need to bring in. We talk about Individual soft skills, where patience is one of them. We talk about Nexus soft skills  between people, but we also get to Group soft skills. We can’t avoid talking about how important patience is to a group environment. Over the last few months, I have been involved in several strategic groups working in an organization to identify new opportunities to really take the organization into a new direction. That is a slow process. We spent lots of time together as a group. Some of these committees had 10 people or 20. These groups can get a little bit large, but it was challenging for me to be sitting here and thinking I know where we need to go. I know what the answer is to the questions. Can I just put some action items on the board and can we move on? I just need to take that breath and let people explore and discuss and run down some rabbit trails. To my surprise, this group came up with some ideas I never thought of and we ended up with some outstanding new initiatives, places to head to that we never considered. They wouldn’t have been on my list of action items. Having that patience to trust that process and allow people that latitude to talk about stuff and just let them get it out on the table. There might be threads we can pull on. It launched another conversation and another conversation. We ended up with results that I would not have gotten to had I just cut off the group, if I had said we talked enough, we need to put stuff on the board.

Porterfield (’10:00′): At the same time, we need to maintain that focus that we are moving toward something. We can’t meet endlessly. We need to get ideas on the table. There has to be that tension point. We have to recognize when we have circled the field too many times. We need to land this plane.

Patience Fights Emotional Reactions

Graham (’10:15′): That’s a great example. I have had similar experiences. I think, really, we’re going to meet again. Then they throw you by coming up with something that wouldn’t have occurred otherwise. What patience leads to ultimately is perspective. In that moment of being patient, we sort of back away from the emotion and get back to the issue at hand. The thing that I struggle with when I become impatient is my emotion gets the best of me. I just want to get this thing done and move on. I want to move to the next shiny object. Done, done, done. Check off, check off, check off. It’s all emotion. It’s not rational. It’s not like anyone is saying I need to get this thing done by Friday afternoon. It’s me setting an artificial deadline because I like to get things done on Friday. But the perspective is that sometimes having the weekend to think over things and reconvene on Monday really has a value. Getting that distance for two days and not thinking about it, then hitting the ground running on Monday can give us new insights. You can ask if anyone sees it differently on Monday morning.

Patience ultimately gives us perspective and that ability to look at things differently.

Patience as a Gift

Graham (’11:42′): The gift I get is a deeper understanding of the context in which I am operating. It moves away from an emotional reaction to more of a logical reaction over time. When we think about our soft skills list, there isn’t one about emotion. But there is one about thinking logically. Isn’t that what we ultimately are thinking about?

Porterfield (’12:13′): It comes back to something we talk about in the book. That is that a lot of these Individual soft skills — patience, empathy, respect for other people, for example — and those higher level ones like innovation. That’s where we need those foundational soft skills. We aren’t going to get to real innovation without these foundational soft skills like patience. We don’t want to say there’s an absolute cause and effect here. But these foundational soft skills are the ones that are going to enable future soft skills and their development. Really, what we are talking about is transforming an organization. That’s really where we want to go.

Graham (’12:52′): Toby, that’s a great place for us to stop. We’ve really offered some insights into patience and why it’s a soft skill. Anyone listening to this has probably given up all of the patience we can ask for. To go any further would be a bad choice.

Next Week

Graham (’13:08′): Next week, we will be answering people’s questions . Look for that and more next week on the Serious Soft Skills Podcast.