Written communication is an important skill, for it is often our first — and potentially — lasting impression of a person. We’ll discuss good writing and give tips for how to write better.

 

Hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham talk about the important soft skill of written communication in this episode. Among the topics they cover are:

  • How our writing is often where people first encounter us
  • Why writing conveys what’s inside our minds
  • Writing tells us about how someone sees the world, sees his or her role in the world and what he wants to accomplish.
  • Understanding audience and its role in writing well
  • How writing in our own language may not be the best way to write
  • The writer’s role as a “reader’s advocate” and taking the reader’s perspective on your writing
  • Putting actions steps early in writing
  • Good writing encourages reader action
  • How writers inadvertently discourage their readers
  • Why the pile of emails to get to exists and why it’s the email writer’s fault
  • The 3-sentence and 4-sentence email pledge
  • How getting away from typewriters has spawned worse writing
  • The deadly action of Reply All and what it says to your reader
  • Respecting and using your awareness of your audience to improve your writing
  • No matter where you are in your writing life, a list of easy ways to dramatically improve your writing today
  • The value of spell checkers and grammar checkers
  • Why big words might not be your writing friend
  • Why great words should not be overused
  • How verbs really do drive sentences
  • Self-editing and outside editing help
  • An easy, fun way to edit your writing
  • The financial equivalent of wasted words in your writing
  • Tips for helping readers find key information
  • Making your writing “sticky”
  • How subject lines and file names can help the recipient of your communication
  • The number one worst thing to do with email

Next Week

We’ll be looking at another soft skill on our list of 55 soft skills. Email us at podcast

Being persuasive is a foundational soft skill that everyone in an organization has a responsibility to use, although it’s vitally important to being a successful leader.

 

 

Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss the soft skill of being persuasive and how it use can spur an organization’s growth.

Among the topics they discuss are:

  • Why being persuasive makes our list
  • How to differentiate between manipulation and persuasion
  • A working definition of persuasion
  • How persuasion leads to “buy-in”
  • How persuasion is about attraction
  • Identifying what makes a proposal fit the goals of an organization and how being persuasive fits in
  • When to set aside an idea because the buy-in is missing
  • Knowing when to move things forward
  • When persuasion becomes office politics and how to avoid it
  • Examples of persuasive arguments
  • How to ask for a raise using persuasion
  • Tips for what any
  • persuasion ultimately needs to include
  • When persuasion can run amok
  • When persuasion reaches coalescence
  • How understanding your audience is critical to any effective persuasion
  • Where an organization’s history plays into persuasion

Next week

We will explore a listener’s timely suggestion for another soft skill to add to our list of 55 soft skills.

Patience makes the list of soft skills. We’ll explain why and how it fosters opportunities at work and in careers.

 

Introduction

Dr. Tobin Porterfield (‘0:20’): Welcome to Serious Soft Skills, Episode 15. With me is Bob Graham. For you newcomers, welcome. Let’s set the stage. We have uncovered a list of 55 soft skills from our review of academic research and our teaching of college students, and our work in diverse industries. We use our keen eye on soft skills to help uncover how they work and how we all can improve them. We look at what they mean and why they matter in today’s workplace.

Porterfield (‘0:48’): Now we are going to take a look at patience. As I say that Bob, I feel like I need to take a deep breath. Let’s. Deal. With. Patience. I feel relaxed when I say it.

Bob Graham (‘1:00’): I have been waiting forever for you to ask me that question. I am at the edge of my seat. Could he have gone any longer with that introduction and the guy with the really good voice that we paid so much money for. Then back to you. I just can’t wait any longer. I am just going to jump right into it.

Porterfield (‘1:23’): Maybe patience isn’t your thing.

Graham (‘1:23’): It is not. I openly admit that. This is one that I cringe to see some of the people who are around me to hear that I am talking about patience. I am not a very patient person. I am hoping we can learn some things from our discussion. I did some research because it is not my strong suit.

Getting a Handle on Basic Patience

Graham (‘1:47’): There was a good article about patience in the Huffington Post in April 2015. It’s by Dr. Heiger Zayed. I apologize if i misstated that name. He really explained where we start with the idea of patience. He say:

Patience gives us the option to cool down and to extend the grace to ourselves and others in the immediate moment — when we need it most. To be patient means we don’t react mindlessly to minor irritations and inconveniences. Patience gives us the freedom to respond in a more kind and gentle way.

Graham (‘2:42’): He ends with a really interesting idea, which is that it is one of the greatest virtues in all religions. And if you think about that, it is really true. We really value patience — like we value gold because it’s hard to find gold. And it’s hard to find patience, and when I find it, it’s often by just luck. I don’t think I am consistent with patience at all and that’s part of the challenge with it. But you want to talk a little differently about patience? Can you explain why it’s a soft skill and why we think it’s important?

How Patience is a Soft Skill

Porterfield (‘3:18’): We cast patience as one of our Individual skills that we bring to the workplace, but it’s not one we naturally bring to any relationship. It is something most of us have to work on, myself included. It gets back to that core element. It can be so damaging to a relationship to not have patiences involved. My concern with including patience or encouraging it in the workplace is that it can run in conflict with the need to be proactive. We want to be careful that we cast patience and some similar ones that we talk about with respect for the people we work with. Empathy is one of them. Patience isn’t about how we deal with time management or how we deal with proactive or taking initiative. Patience doesn’t mean sitting back and letting things come, but as Zayed had said, allowing us to take a breath and think about that next step and not respond in a way that will be inappropriate or damaging. We really are talking about being patient with other people and being patient even with ourselves and our situation. We have to let that develop on its own before we take an action that we may regret.

Graham (‘5:06’): Where I am impatient, it’s usually when I am dealing with other people or team activities, with group assignments where it’s just so slow. I want to get things done. I don’t want perfection. I just want it off the checklist and move to the next thing. And the tension I have sometimes is with people who are perfectionists, who want to do it the right way or get everything exactly 100% right. I just want to get this book closed on Friday afternoon and move to something else on Monday morning. I have found that it’s a good thing to push in some situations, but it can also be detrimental when you start to erode relationships and people start to pigeonhole you as the guy who just wants to rush through things to get things done. Or if they say he’s the guy who doesn’t care about quality. Those can really be detrimental. You said it well when we were prepping this: There’s a natural tension between patience and taking initiative.

Porterfield (‘6:15’): Or even time management or being proactive. 

Recognizing Time Realities

Graham (‘6:19’): Patience also is recognizing that things take a certain amount of time. Trying to get a contract approved by the U.S. government is going to take more than a day. That’s just reality. If you are trying to do other things, it takes time. This podcast takes time. There’s no way around it. It takes time to plan them, to do them, to post-production and it takes time for people to start to listen to them. We could say we will have 1 million listeners on the first day. But that’s not realistic. Some of patience is about being realistic situationally. That patience varies from situation to situation and day to day. When you think about time management, it’s about resource allocation. Sometimes patience for me comes with the allocation of resources. We only have so many hours to devote to this extra project. We only have so many dollars that we can put toward hiring additional staff. That’s just the reality. Sometimes patience is the result of a realistic assessment of the situation. Is that something that comes into play in project management?

Porterfield (‘7:48’): That really gets us to an interesting spot in this discussion. We have talked about patience with other individuals, with dealing with patience with ourselves, and then going to that outer ring of the planet, and recognizing that we have to have patience with the environment. You used the term realistic. 

We have to set realistic expectations for ourselves, but also of how the system’s going to work around us.

Patience in Action

Porterfield (‘8:15’): It gets us to the third area that we need to bring in. We talk about Individual soft skills, where patience is one of them. We talk about Nexus soft skills  between people, but we also get to Group soft skills. We can’t avoid talking about how important patience is to a group environment. Over the last few months, I have been involved in several strategic groups working in an organization to identify new opportunities to really take the organization into a new direction. That is a slow process. We spent lots of time together as a group. Some of these committees had 10 people or 20. These groups can get a little bit large, but it was challenging for me to be sitting here and thinking I know where we need to go. I know what the answer is to the questions. Can I just put some action items on the board and can we move on? I just need to take that breath and let people explore and discuss and run down some rabbit trails. To my surprise, this group came up with some ideas I never thought of and we ended up with some outstanding new initiatives, places to head to that we never considered. They wouldn’t have been on my list of action items. Having that patience to trust that process and allow people that latitude to talk about stuff and just let them get it out on the table. There might be threads we can pull on. It launched another conversation and another conversation. We ended up with results that I would not have gotten to had I just cut off the group, if I had said we talked enough, we need to put stuff on the board.

Porterfield (’10:00′): At the same time, we need to maintain that focus that we are moving toward something. We can’t meet endlessly. We need to get ideas on the table. There has to be that tension point. We have to recognize when we have circled the field too many times. We need to land this plane.

Patience Fights Emotional Reactions

Graham (’10:15′): That’s a great example. I have had similar experiences. I think, really, we’re going to meet again. Then they throw you by coming up with something that wouldn’t have occurred otherwise. What patience leads to ultimately is perspective. In that moment of being patient, we sort of back away from the emotion and get back to the issue at hand. The thing that I struggle with when I become impatient is my emotion gets the best of me. I just want to get this thing done and move on. I want to move to the next shiny object. Done, done, done. Check off, check off, check off. It’s all emotion. It’s not rational. It’s not like anyone is saying I need to get this thing done by Friday afternoon. It’s me setting an artificial deadline because I like to get things done on Friday. But the perspective is that sometimes having the weekend to think over things and reconvene on Monday really has a value. Getting that distance for two days and not thinking about it, then hitting the ground running on Monday can give us new insights. You can ask if anyone sees it differently on Monday morning.

Patience ultimately gives us perspective and that ability to look at things differently.

Patience as a Gift

Graham (’11:42′): The gift I get is a deeper understanding of the context in which I am operating. It moves away from an emotional reaction to more of a logical reaction over time. When we think about our soft skills list, there isn’t one about emotion. But there is one about thinking logically. Isn’t that what we ultimately are thinking about?

Porterfield (’12:13′): It comes back to something we talk about in the book. That is that a lot of these Individual soft skills — patience, empathy, respect for other people, for example — and those higher level ones like innovation. That’s where we need those foundational soft skills. We aren’t going to get to real innovation without these foundational soft skills like patience. We don’t want to say there’s an absolute cause and effect here. But these foundational soft skills are the ones that are going to enable future soft skills and their development. Really, what we are talking about is transforming an organization. That’s really where we want to go.

Graham (’12:52′): Toby, that’s a great place for us to stop. We’ve really offered some insights into patience and why it’s a soft skill. Anyone listening to this has probably given up all of the patience we can ask for. To go any further would be a bad choice.

Next Week

Graham (’13:08′): Next week, we will be answering people’s questions . Look for that and more next week on the Serious Soft Skills Podcast.

The soft skill of customer service is often misunderstood. Serious Soft Skills Cohost Bob Graham interviews Neal Woodson, a customer service expert, in the first part of a two-part interview on the topic.

Neal’s view is that customer service is the most important aspect of what organizations provide, and it ultimately is what is necessary to find any success.

Introduction

Dr. Tobin Porterfield (‘0:21’): Welcome to Episode 12 of Serious Soft Skills. I am your host, Dr. Tobin Porterfield. Today we will have the first of a two-part interview, where my cohost, the sultan of soft skills, Bob Graham, talks to Neal Woodson about how he develops soft skills related to customer service. Neal has 35 years of experience across a range of environments, including 19 years in the event technology industry. Neal currently serves as director of service excellence for PSAV, where he helps management and line-level team members collaborate in driving service excellence by analyzing customer experience, coaching the development of actionable strategies, and creating education and training techniques that ensure consistent delivery.

Soft Skills at Core of Customer Service

Bob Graham (‘1:11’): It’s great to be here with Neal Woodson. I am really looking forward to the discussion….I hope for our listeners and our viewers that the weather is good for them. Let’s get right to it.

Graham (‘1:29’): You are an expert on customer service. Beyond being a great golfer and great friend, and I want to talk today with you about soft skills and how they apply to customer service because believe it or not customer or client focus is one of the soft skills we uncovered in our research. You’re someone who really spends your days working on it. Give us an overview of what it means.

 

Neal Woodson (‘2:01’): As far as customer service, I don’t know if I am an expert, but it is something I work with all day every day. It’s always on my mind. I don’t like that term “soft skills.” I know that is a popular phrase. I prefer to say they are any number of things: social skills, collaborative skills. That doesn’t even cover it all, obviously.

Soft skills have gotten shunted to a second-class citizenship. They have been pushed to the back of the bus.

Importance of Customer Service

Woodson (‘2:57’}: I don’t think people realize how important they are. I deal with business and how business works with customers. Everybody thinks that soft skills are what customer service people do. it’s not really necessary for what anyone else does in the business. So when it comes to like a soft skills training, they will send all of their customer service people or call center people to soft skills training. one of the things we forget about in business is that everybody in business deals with somebody. You deal with people no matter what. In my role, you would think that all I deal with is customer-facing folks. That’s not true. I’m a big believer that what we do all throughout a business affects the customer. In other words, the way the CEO operates and the manager treat the workers — all of that affects how the company treats the customer. The best way I can put that is that if you are a parent and you come home every day and you scream and yell at your kids. Would it be any surprise to you at all to see your kids screaming and yelling at other kids?

What we do with others inside the house impacts what we do outside the house.

Need to Keep Improving Soft Skills

Woodson {‘4:26’}: To me, it’s crucial that everybody in an organization works on continuously improves their soft skills. How does my job role connect to the end user customer. Say you’re in accounts payable. You say that your job doesn’t connect with customers. You just pay bills. Well, wait a second. If you don’t pay the bills, what happens to the customer. How does that impact the customer? if I don’t pay the bills for the company, then a vendor doesn’t get paid and he cuts us off. It’s harder to do our jobs for that customer to make us successful. So what you do does impact the customer.

Woodson (‘5:27’): So once everybody in the organization begins to understand that everything they do relates back to the customer, now we can start talking about or getting more granular about skills. We can start to talk about empathy, one of the key skills people need. When I talk about empathy, it’s that we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. But when we talk about empathy one of the things that scares people or one thing that people think is that I don’t care what that person cares about. It doesn’t matter if you care about what they care about. It matters that you care that they are upset. Or that they are happy. That’s what matters. It’s not the fact that you feel it. For example, when my kids were younger, they’d hear about some pop star doing something and they would get all upset about it. I couldn’t care less to be quite honest. Who cares? But what matters is I care that they do care. I care how they feel. That’s a critical element.

The Iceberg of People

Woodson (‘6:38’): Along with that, I regularly talk about something called the iceberg. That is that what you see in people is 10% of what’s real. For example, you see a customer and they are all upset and they blow up at you for something. Nine times out of 10 it’s not because of something you did or said. It’s one of a hundred thousand other things that you know nothing about. One of the first steps about empathy is to recognize that in an individual. It’s to say, I know you have a lot going on in your world. And it’s going to affect how I treat you and interact with you. I do, too. We are both in the same place. You have to be able to say to them, I know how you feel.

Woodson (7:40′): When we say, take a few seconds and let me figure this out. And I am going to be here until we get this thing solved. That goes a long way. Now I am partnering with you. I have become your partner. I want you to be successful. Nine times out of 10 that’s what people want. They want someone who is here with you for customer success, whatever that is. Even if it’s something little. They just want to know someone is here that is willing to help them become successful.

Customer Service and the Customer

Graham (‘8:19’): Is there a way to turn this around to the customer focus so that if I am the customer, I can facilitate that partnership that we just talked about. It occurs to me that if I am the ideal customer, that customer service person trying to work with me is going ot have an easier job. I can fight or I can swim in the same direction. Can you sort of spin this around for us and look at it the other way? What are the things we can do as a customer to make it easier for everyone?

Woodson (‘8:49’): You are absolutely right. Now we’re just getting to the human element, beyond business. I will give you an example. Yesterday, I had a problem with my cellphone, and I called my provider and this wonderful young lady, Brandy, picked up the phone. We talked. I explained what was going on. I was very frustrated. It had to do with my volcemail. It was an automated situation, and none of the options fit my situation. I couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with a human being. That was the most frustrating thing. When I finally got in touch with her. She was nice and understanding. She told me she fully understood how I feel. She had problems with her phone. Now we were on an even keel. It was like I had somebody who had been here before so she knew how frustrating it was. Okay, I realized she is a person who deals with this all day long everyday. All she hears is people complaining. What’s the best thing I can do to make this better. I started talking to her about how long she had been working there. She had just graduated from college. My daughter just graduated from college. We connected on that. It was as fantastic experience. I left that experience feeling like not only did I get my problems solved, but I got a new friend.

From Company to People

Graham (’10;20′): That’s one of the things I find. Often my customer experience has more to do with the way the person handles me than the product. I also find that my loyalty becomes to the person who services me in these situations best. I told you how I had to go to the Apple store. I could have bought this cable I needed at three or four other places. But what love about the Apple store is I can walk in there and I can say, “I need a cable to do this.” They ask me a few questions. They asked how I am doing, do I like my computer. One, two, three, I have the right piece. The guy tells me his name and tells me he has the same computer. We have some common ground and I ask when he typically works. I now know to come in there when he’s working. He represents that company now. He represents everything I wan in that company. He values me so the company values me. We don’t think of companies as people. We don’t think of Starbucks, Apple and IBM as people. They are companies, not people. Some of this really is taking that brand of the company and isolating it to a person so that we have that one-on-connection.

Woodson (’11:59′): It’s interesting that you say that. The word corporation is from the word “corpus,” which means body. When you think of a company, it’s a living thing. It’s the people that make it up. It’s not the spreadsheets. It’s not the contracts. It’s none of that. It’s people that make a company or corporation. We really need to get companies back to understanding that everybody who works for you is a billboard for you not just for your brand, but your culture and what’s it’s all about and what you stand for. We get a feeling about your business by your people.

Closing

Graham (’12:50′): I can’t thank you enough for your time, for your insights and for just really saying some things in ways that people need to hear. When you talk customer service affecting everyone at all aspects of a company, that’s really a message we need to wrestle with and think about and apply to apply to any kind of business that we are trying to endeavor to create or build.

Porterfield (’13:10′): Thanks, Bob. Neal, thanks for joining us. If you want to learn more about Neal Woodson, visit his blog, where he offers some great insights on customer service, at NealWoodson.wordpress.com.

Next Week’s Episode

Next week, we will listen to the second part of the Bob’s interview with Neal, where they look on the impact of customer service on individuals and organizations.

 

Hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss perseverance or persistence, and why it plays a critical role in group dynamics.

Introduction

Graham ‘0:21’: Welcome to Episode 10 of Serious Soft Skills. I’m Bob Graham and with me as always, at least so far, is Dr. Tobin Porterfield. We each teach college; we collaborate on researching soft skills, and we both have used and seen others employ soft skills over the course of our long and illustrious careers, not that long and not that illustrious. We think our experience and expertise give us a unique lens for looking at soft skills. We’re going to show you that when we talk in the next few moments about perseverance.

What Is Empathy?

Porterfield ‘0:57’: Bob, you already let the cat out of the bag about what we are covering, but I am pretty excited. In these podcasts, we laid out the over 50 soft skills that we have identified through our research and we framed them into four groups — Individual soft skills, a big list with 28; ones where we interact with people, Nexus soft skills, where there are seven; then we looked at Group soft skills, where we work with a team or group; and Enterprise soft skills are the leadership ones.

Porterfield ‘1:32’: Now it’s time to dig in deeper. Today we want to get into one of those Individual soft skills, one of the 28. In our list, we call it persistence. The individual should bring persistence when going after an objective, to not let obstacles get in their way. Persistence is to vastly pursue when undertaking a task even when hindered by an obstacle or distracted by an obstacle.

Perseverance is different from being stubborn.

Porterfield ‘2:07’: We’ve worked with people who have are stubborn. Then we looked at other people who we admire because they persevere. It’s not usually the person who is stubborn that we admire. It’s perseverance. There’s a difference there that we want to make sure we unwrap today. We really need to understand what perseverance means for an individual and how an organization perseveres.

Graham ‘2:33’: Can I tell you a story, Toby? I have a great story about someone who persevered. And when I get to the end I think you are going to know who this person is. I think everyone will know this person.

The Story of a Writer Who Finally Succeeded

Graham ‘2:48’: For purposes of this story, I am going to call him Steve. And Steve when he was a child liked to write. He wrote his first story before he could even shave. His mother loved his story and said it should be in a book. He didn’t think a lot of it. A couple of years later, he sends one of his stories to a magazine to get published. They rejected it. He put the rejection letter on his wall and he keeps writing. He keeps writing. And he gets more and more rejection letters, but he keeps writing. Ten years later, he’s still getting more rejection letters. Now, he is 26 years old. He a teacher with a wife and two children and gets a telegram — back before the Internet — and the telegram is from Doubleday Publishing Co., one of the big publishing companies. They tried to call him on the phone, but he and his wife didn’t have enough money for a phone at that point. But he kept on writing and teaching. The telegram isn’t a rejection letter, but Doubleday wanted to publish his first novel. It was horror story about Carrie White, a teenage girl with telekinetic powers. He got a $2,500 advance for the book and not long after that, the paperback rights for Carrie sold for $400,000. That was the start of the person we know as Stephen King, one of the most prolific writers of the 20th Century and into the 21st Century. 

Graham ‘4:37’: I’m a writer so that story of course resonates with me profoundly. But that’s one of those stories when you talk about perseverance, he really stuck to what he believed to be true. He kept writing and knew he would find a place to publish one day. Rather than send the same story again and again, he kept working on his craft, modifying his approach and improving it. Eventually, Doubleday Publishing says they want to publish his book. When you talk about the difference between stubborn and persistence or perseverance, Stephen King demonstrates that in his writing. He didn’t send that same story he sent when he was 10 years old to every publication in the world, thinking eventually someone would publish it. Instead, he kept working on his craft and continuing to refine it and improve it, and getting better. I am sure his first story, the one his mother loved, wasn’t Carrie. 

The Challenges of Perseverance

Porterfield ‘5:52’: You bring out some of the challenges of perseverance. In the Stephen King example, it’s not just doing the same thing over and over again. It’s improvement and a commitment and as you said, a faith that this is what I am supposed to be doing. This is the right direction and I need to keep at it.

Perseverance is a lot about keeping at it at a real, continuing to improve way.

Organizations Must Persevere

Porterfield ‘6:22’: It really crosses over from the individual to the organization. For an organization that has a vision for what they want to be, the goal, the goals of what they want to achieve, staying after that regardless of what’s going on and persevering to work toward that goal is vital. At the same time, we mentioned the word distractions.

There’s a difference in being aware of our surroundings and being distracted and thrown off track fro where we are going.

Porterfield ‘6:46’: We can’t blindly go after things. We need to listen to those rejection letters and see what we are doing wrong, what was good and what was bad. Then we need to make those changes and improvements so those obstacles don’t become barriers. They become learning points and we move forward on them.

Another Story About Perseverance

Graham ‘7:15’: I have another story about perseverance. I had a student last year who wanted to go to medical school. She was an undergraduate student. She realized that she had to write a great resume and a letter about why she wanted to go into med school. She came to me. I had taught her a year or two before. She didn’t know how to write it. She wanted to meet with me and talk through it and show me drafts for comments as she went along. She came with a first draft that was pretty rough. We talked through it, and she took copious notes about everything we discussed. Then, she goes back and a week later and wants to meet again. She brings me a next draft, which is much better. And we talk about more improvements. She continues to improve it. She came to my office over about three months six times. By the end, she had a great piece. She was willing to persevere. She wanted to go to medical school. I am happy to say she got into medical school. I was one of those people who wrote a letter of recommendation. I knew she was someone who could do the work. It was easy to say that because I had seen all the work she did to get into medical school. She had her eye on the prize. The prize was medical school. The hinderance for her was getting that letter they need to be good enough for them to accept me. She knew where she was going and she knew what she needed to do to get there. It was just a matter of traveling that road. I can assure you a senior in college has plenty of distractions. All of her courses and friends, everything go on around her — but she kept to her commitment to get the best letter she could so she could get where she wanted to go. That’s an example of those whole idea of perseverance that is a little easier for us to appreciate. It wasn’t her saying I am going to do something unrealistic. Medical school was realistic. It was just a matter of her achieving these things to reach that objective.

Can We Get Better at It?

Porterfield ‘9:45’: You just got us to our next point. If we drill into that a little bit, we have to figure out how to practice, how to learn to be better at perseverance. Your student example gets at an element of that. She had a clear goal in mind. She knew what the obstacles were that she needed to overcome to get there. When we talk about obstacles and getting to a goal, I think of Randy Pausch, a faculty at Carnegie Melon University. We lost him a few years ago to cancer. A case of perseverance, but at the same time, he wrote the book, The Last Lecture, and did several videos on it. He talked about perseverance. He said that those obstacles are not there to get in your way. They are there to see how badly you want it and to keep the other people out. That’s sometimes a good way to look at things. Your letter is a great example of that in that medical school was the goal, a big obstacle for her was that essay, and keeping the eye on the prize. I’m going to get into medical school, but how do I get past this obstacle. Who can help me? What faculty members? Who can read it?

Perseverance has to start with choosing the appropriate goal. Once we know what that goal is, we have to know what the real obstacles are.

Graham ’11:09′: Isn’t it also being realistic with ourselves as well. Knowing what those obstacles are can be hard to admit. Admitting you are not a great writer and coming to a teacher for help is not an easy thing. It’s not easy at all. For me, it’s hard to ask for help all the time. I can only imagine that is fairly common for people. But before you can ask for help, you have to acknowledge that you are not as good at something as you may need to be. 

How Perseverance Helps Entrepreneurs Succeed

Graham ’11:44′: You look at a lot of entrepreneurial efforts going on and you see that someone has a great idea, but they need to bring other people into that to build that team that can achieve the result. Because they cannot do it themselves. 

Most of us don’t have the expertise to be able to do something start to finish. When we bring in team members to help, we give ourselves a huge advantage.

Graham ’12:07′: When we say, “Toby, you’re really good at certain aspects of what we want to achieve. I need your help to achieve these things.” We see it today in this podcast. We didn’t script it out real well. You have some real strengths that most people would not know, but it works really well. I have to acknowledge that because we had a discussion a couple of hours ago about how I was going to do this one by myself. Your contributions today are far more valuable than it would have been if I had done it by myself. 

It’s the acknowledgement that two heads is better than one, three is better than one, and building a team that allows you to persevere is important.

Graham ’12:45′: The other thing a team does is when someone is down, the other people pick them up. We think of perseverance as a uniquely individual quality. But a team can develop a quality of perseverance, too. You have the person who says we can’t win the football game. We’re down three touchdowns. And you have the guy on the team who says they can score three touchdowns in no time at all. And they get behind him. That person carries the team forward. 

We think of perseverance as an individual characteristic, but a team also develops perseverance. They help each other.

Porterfield ’13:30′: We are right on track with that. It’s such a necessary skill so we put it in the Individual soft skills category. If we’re really going to move organizations forward and we’re going to move forward in our own careers, we have to bring that perseverance to it. We can’t just be cast about and be going here and there. We have to keep on track. Having that group, having other people involved can be a benefit, especially if they are the right people.

Next Week’s Episode

Porterfield ’14:03′: Next week, we will be talking about project management, another soft skill. We are going to jump into another group this time. Project management has some controversy so we will have an interesting discussion. We’ll look at what it means and why it’s valuable to employees and organizations. Thanks for listening, good day, and good soft skills.

 

Hosts Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham discuss empathy, a soft skill that everyone can benefit from, but it’s a soft skill that is poorly understood and often overlooked. 

Introduction

Graham ‘0:24’: Welcome to Episode 9 of Serious Soft Skills. I’m Bob Graham and with me as always, at least so far, is Dr. Tobin Porterfield. We each teach college; we collaborate on researching soft skills, and we both have used and seen others employ soft skills over the course of our long and illustrious careers, not that long and not that illustrious. We think our experience and expertise give us a unique lens for looking at soft skills. We’re going to show you that when we talk in the next few moments about empathy.

What Is Empathy?

Graham ‘0:52’: But before we talk about empathy, we need to define it. Empathy is defined as the ability to experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions and experiences of others. Now, let’s compare it with sympathy, because we often confuse those two. Sympathy is being able to understand and support others with compassion and sensitivity. So sympathy is understanding, whereas empathy is being able to experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions and experiences of others. Just in those two definitions we see that empathy is deeper than sympathy. Sympathy is a lower threshold of activity that’s going on. Can you go a bit deeper for us, Toby?

Dr. Tobin Porterfield ‘1:41’: This is one of those topics where we are going to have some feedback from you out there. We will hear about different experiences. I do struggle with the sympathy side. We do want to express that, but it often becomes just a polite response. “I’m sorry to hear that.” It can often be so superficial. When we talk about empathy, we’re really talking about a depth of, you used the word understanding, a depth of appreciation, a depth of really walking a mile in another man’s shoes. You really get it. You get why someone is frustrated. I am sorry you are frustrated and I really get it. And here’s what we can do about it.

The impact that empathy can have on an organization is that depth of relationship and the critical role of empathy in truly developing and maintaining relationships.

Empathy Is About Sharing

Graham ‘2:44′: It’s a shared experience. So if I talk about a situation that was difficult for me. For instance, my father died two years ago. I was talking to someone who had just had his father die and we were able to talk in a way that wasn’t just superficial. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” We started talking about how you hear your father’s voice at various times of the day. You’re in the club who lost their fathers, too. You are nodding with me. You know what that’s like. You could be empathetic in that case. Until my father died, I thought when friends’ parents died, I thought it was just terrible. It’s deeper now. You talk about that shared experience. With this person, we had a bond that is really deep that was built over that one, 90-second discussion about hearing the voice of your father even though he is gone.

Porterfield ‘3:47’: Can you find that thing? Think about it in a work situation. We aren’t usually talking about those types of tings. But that’s what’s going on underneath the layers of a work situation. There are family pressures and experience that people bring with them into the workplace and empathy allows us in a careful way to engage in those.

When there is a shared experience, that certainly makes empathy maybe a little easier. If I haven’t had that same experience, then it’s incumbent on me to use good listening skills and to ask questions and help me understand how that feels.

Empathy Builds Relationships

Porterfield ‘4:34’: We can’t just blow it off and say, “I’s sorry that happened.” But really we need to ask those more probing questions that allow me to understand what you are going through, even though I haven’t potentially. But then I can appreciate where are. Certainly from a personal level, that’s really important in relationships.

Graham ‘4:58’: At one point in my career, I was a newspaper reporter. So much of being a reporter is asking questions and being empathetic because you have to talk to that person who was involved in the fire, the plane they thought was going to crash, in a tornado, you name it. You are constantly asking people questions. They don’t respond if you just ask for their story. You’ve got to develop that shared experience, that rapport, and not make them feel like it’s a story. But it’s their story. That’s one of the things that empathy really brings about. We start to get to share what;’s our story, what’s behind the mask, or what’s behind the surface. 

As we get into being empathetic, we start to develop trust, shared experience and that leads to additional opportunities.

Building Trust

Graham ‘5:59’: You and I have certainly seen it. At our first breakfast, remember, we were reading a book together and talking through it. We’ve come far from there.Now, we share very detailed, intimate things because we have shared a lot with each other. That grows over time. And frankly, that’s what enables us to do these podcasts. We have a shared trust for each other. This is not as scripted out as some people might think. We pull curveballs on each other. If someone pulls a curveball, it’s because one of us thinks it’s the right thing. And we trust each other to know the right thing. That’s different than just us saying, “Hey, let’s do a podcast. Here’s what the topic is. Go.” That’s a great example of what empathy allows us. Empathy allows us to deepen a relationship, build that trust and it opens door to additional opportunities, which is where the value is to an organization.

Porterfield ‘7:05’: Exactly. And let’s turn to the organization. As you are listening to this discussion, there’s that possibility that you might hear this and say I just need to be sappy at work with all those conversations that go on. At the same time, we don’t want to turn this and say that there’s just this ulterior motive. Please pretend to be empathetic so you can benefit. What we want to see for organizations is that by understanding, knowing and engaging at a greater level, I know more about the people I am working with, the experiences they have, where they might just be responsible for developing this or doing that. Suddenly, I realize that you have experiences we can use. Bob, you used to be a journalist. Bob, maybe you can help us understand this thing.

With empathy, we have the opportunity to be innovative, to look at things in new ways, to be creative, to solve new problems because now there’s additional levels that we can draw from that at the surface we would be at resume level.

 

Porterfield ‘8:12’: I see you know Microsoft Excel. So go make a spreadsheet, which is great.

But if we can operate at a level when I understand and appreciate your experience, I haven’t had that life experience, but you bring it, and we can integrate it into some of our operations, we are operating our organization at whole new level.

Empathy Fuels Other Soft Skills

Graham ‘8:34’: That new level leads to additional opportunities. It really does spark creativity at all levels. The other thing that I keep repeating is it engenders that trust that’s really critical to be able to take the next step in organizations. If you don’t trust the people you are working with, it’s really hard to advance anything. Everyone is worried about their own skin. Am I going to have a job? Is this going to work out? What’s in it for me? If you are in it to win for the organization, then everyone gets cared for along the way because you are leveraging your strengths. When empathy allows us to see people’s strengths, it really helps us to position ourselves and others in better positions to succeed. It makes each workday a whole lot more fun. If I had to do spreadsheets for these podcasts, I would go crazy. The production stuff I do is great. You do some of the other things for it. We have a really good partnership because we know each other’s strengths through those discussions and understanding of our life experience. If we had to do photography, I would have you do it because I know you have done photography. I wouldn’t take a picture. That’s silly. You’ve done it. When we get to writing, we tend to fall more toward me. That’s really the key. A lot of organizations have that sense of empathy that’s not real. It’s the surface empathy, or it may only be sympathy. If you start to look at people’s challenges and what the lessons were from that which could help 

Porterfield ’10:53′: We have been drawing on some of the information published by the Center for Creative Leadership. They have done some work on empathy. They put out a white paper. They drill it down as empathy is certainly positive. Showing you care is part of it. That authenticity, being aware of the needs of other, are also parts of it. That’s the edge we always get into with emotional intelligence, that awareness, which is a big part of that emotional intelligence. But it also gets down to building and maintaining relationships. Think about that. We know people might be saying there’s nothing new talking about empathy.

But we are dealing with a multi-generational workforce right now where we don’t share the same life experience.

A New Workforce

Porterfield ’11:46′: You and I deal with it in the classroom. We are dealing with millennials, who have very distinct life experiences. They have seen things as they grew up. They have experienced technology that we didn’t. It’s wired into them. Now we are looking at the next generation. That edge generation has a whole other set of life experience. To be effective in this multi-generational workforce, we need to understand each other. We need to truly empathize with each other and get those barriers broken down. Empathy is really going to be a hot item as we figure out how to deal with this new workforce.

Graham ’12:31′: It’s funny you bring up millennials and the classroom. Last semester, I was having trouble with the technology in my classroom. I used the same classroom for both two classes. In the first class, I had a student come up because I couldn’t get the technology resolved. The student said to me, “It must be hard for you because of all this technology.” My reaction was that he wasn’t being helpful. Let’s do class without the technology. In the second class, a student came up as I had the same problem, and he said, “Let me try to fix that for you while you go ahead.” That was really empathetic. That student was clear that he and I had different experiences, and my student could understand how hard it is to be in the front of the room when your technology doesn’t work. The one student didn’t do much. The other student gave me that wow. He showed me something. I asked the student after class why he came up, and he told me he had been in the classroom last week and he had to give a presentation and the technology wouldn’t work. He did it without his PowerPoint. He had lived what I was going through and he wanted to make sure I didn’t go through the same thing because he knew the feelings that went behind that, along with the frustration and difficulty. 

The Key Is Listening

Porterfield ’14:09′: We want to wrap this up with what we can do about it. It does start with the listening, not the asking. It’s the listening. When someone shows frustration, stop and say, “You seem really frustrated with this assignment. I have seen you do similar assignments before. What’s different this time?” That’s an opportunity to engage. You might find out that it’s new software that they aren’t comfortable with. Or they have some distractions. There’s some tension in work, with a co-worker, or outside of the work situation. It really starts with us intentionally listening and watching for those cues. Instead of letting them go or doing that passive “Oh, I’m sorry” is to really go ahead and ask that question. “Tell me, I don’t understand. How can I help you?” Really take that breath.

Porterfield ’15:11′: It’s also what we see with that other part of the argument. Empathy takes a lot of energy. It really does. Especially for some of us, it’s really taxing. Harvard Business Review last year had an article that said empathy isn’t worth it. It takes a lot of energy; it’s exhausting; there’s a zero-sum game. It’s like empathy is in a bucket. If I give you a cup and him a cup and her a cup, then I won’t have enough when I get home. There’s some twisted visions of empathy. But I will accept the fact that empathy does take energy.

From an organizational standpoint, we see the positive side and we see it as a return on assets and a return on investment.

Shifting to Person-Focused

Porterfield ’16:01′: Yes, I can’t spend all day at the watercooler having open sessions to bond with my group. But I can do need to be ready to engage at that level at the right time and then move back into doing the work. It’s a tight edge that we have to walk.

Graham ’16:21′: You mentioned that white paper from the Center for Creative Leadership. I want to read one sentence from that white paper. It talks about leaders. It says, “Leaders today need to be more person-focused and be able to work with those not just in the next cubicle, but also with those in other buildings and other countries.” They set that up and I like the phrase “person-focused.” Empathy really gets at person-focus, not task-focused. A lack of empathy is really task-focused. Person-focused is really who is the right person for this task, who can achieve this result based on past experience, past success, what they bring to the table. 

Using empathy allow you to look at a person or a team more holistically and drawing on that to make your best assessment of how to move forward.

Graham ’17:14′: We probably should draw the line there. That’s quite enough. My head is spinning from all of that empathy talk. I think we did make some headway. 

Porterfield ’17:29′: Let’s be empathetic for you, our listeners. Hold it, we have just dumped a whole lot on you. We will put up some notes on this and you can look at the articles we mentioned. You can map your own way into this.

Next Week’s Episode

Graham ’18:15′: Now, I am going to tease next week’s episode. I am going to be a little vague. We have a little debate on what the next soft skills we will talk about is. We are trying to do this in a non-strategic order. One of us usually has one of the soft skills speak to us for the week. We’ll see what comes next week. Thanks for listening, good day, and good soft skills. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Tobin Porterfield and Bob Graham take a deeper dive into one of the key areas of soft skills: Individual soft skills. We’re also going to talk about how best to get moving toward improving your soft skills.

Bob Graham ‘0:00’:  Coming up, we’re going to take a deeper dive into one of the key area of soft skills: Individual soft skills.

Graham ‘0:23’: Welcome to Episode 4 of Serious Soft Skills. I am Bob Graham, and with me, as always,  is Dr. Tobin Porterfield. We each teach college, we collaborate on researching soft skills, and we both have used and seen others use soft skills in various jobs over our careers. We think our experience and expertise give us a unique lens for looking at soft skills and I think we are going to show you that with what we are about to discuss. Right, Toby?

Tobin Porterfield ‘1:01’: It should be an interesting topic today.

How We See Individual Soft Skills

Graham ‘1:03’: Every topic is an interesting topic when you and I are looking into it. Let’s get right into it. In one of the past episodes (Episode 3), we looked at listening skills as one of the most important Individual soft skills. I made the case that it was the most important and we sort of wrestled with it a bit. Today we’re going to talk about more of those Individual soft skills and how they show up in people’s lives and in their work. Can you sort of help us set this up?

Porterfield ‘1:31’: In our research we have found over 50 specific skills that are part of soft skills. We talked about how that list can really be overwhelming. We have broken that list into four groupings, with one being Individual soft skills. We call them that because they are so much more internalized.

Porterfield ‘1:54’: Let me list out some of those Individual soft skills so our listeners can get a feel for the type of items. I think they will be able to connect pretty well with them. Working independently, being proactive, attention to detail, positive attitude, being a lifelong learner, being loyal, stress management, ethics, and of course, good old listening skills, perseverance, self motivation and time management. I would think that people could see how we put those together as something that’s foundation, but they’re also ones that we looked at how those soft skills play out in the workplace. So we found these and brought these together because they are ones you bring to the workplace, as opposed to ones you might use when engaging one-on-one, in a group or the ones we would use when we are trying to influence the greater organization. These come much closer to home.

Breaking Down Being A Life-Long Learner

Graham ‘3:13’: As I heard you go through that list, those soft skills seemed like the ones I can work on within the four walls of my cubicle or the four walls of my office. I can be improving on them without dealing with other people. I can be thinking about being a life-long learner. How does that show up? It’s as easy as doing an online seminar, or to prepare for our podcast, I had to learn about podcasts. I listened to about 15 or 20 different podcasts on podcasts. I read three books on podcasting. I spoke to people on podcasting and how to do a podcast. Rather than going, I don’t know how to do it, I’ll never know it, I took the time to develop those expertise. Is that an example of an individual doing the work to develop one of these soft skills, lifelong learning? Of course, that makes me more valuable. And being able to administer this podcast process really helps our company in a lot of ways, as well.

Porterfield ‘4:25’: You touched on a good point here that I hope our listeners pick up on that nuance. We are talking here about the soft skill of being a lifelong learner. But you spoke about being able to manage the software, being able to write the scripts, to do the editing. We’ve said before that soft skills and hard skills go hand-in-hand. The two feed off of each other. Being a lifelong learner means I may be developing my soft skills or I may be developing my hard skills.

Graham ‘5:08’: You just said that and my first thought was oh, I just screwed up in what we are talking about. But I guess they really do go hand-in-hand. It’s not so much being a lifelong learner develops that soft skills, but as we see with the podcast, it helps develop that hard skill.

Being able to do something more is why we are developing any skills, whether it’s technical skills or soft skills. Our goal ultimately is to be more valuable in the workplace, both to achieve better results, but to also position ourselves for better things within an organization or an industry.

Creating Value With Soft Skills

Porterfield ‘5:56’: That’s correct, but also, let’s flip it the other way. If you went out and said I am going to learn how to do video editing and audio editing, and you developed that hard skill by itself, what good does it do you?

You put those communication skills, time management and other soft skills to it, and now you have taken that hard skill that you developed and you have created something of value.

Porterfield ‘6:26’: My struggle is that I believe our hard skills aren’t value creating. They’re resume items; they’re interesting.

It’s fun to learn new things, but I believe we would agree that soft skills are then what takes those hard skills and brings value to yourself and your organization.

Porterfield ‘6:52’: That’s really an exciting side of this and we will get into a few more of these soft skills.

Soft Skills in this Podcast

Graham ‘6:55’: When I came to you with the idea of the podcast, I had to sell you on the idea. There are some soft skills at play there.

Porterfield ‘7:08’: We have to be able to articulate our ideas, our passions, our vision. That’s where we see some difference. We talked in an earlier podcast about listening as an enabler of influence, and clearly you wanted to influence me to commit to and invest in putting this type of information out there through a podcast.

Hard and Soft Skills are Married

Graham ‘7:33’: So the technical skills and soft skills really are interconnected at all levels in a way we saw in the research we talked about in Episode 4 and as we talk through this today. Technical skills and soft skills are really tied together in a variety of ways.

Porterfield ‘7:46’: As we look at a few other of these soft skills on the Individual side, we start to see some of the nuances of them. We look at something like time management. Sometime a person in our circle might say we always show up late and can’t seem to get the priorities done each day. A lot of times that’s attributed to our ability to manage time. That’s one where there are certainly tools out there to help people to organize and structure their time. There are apps all over the place these days to do it. Some of these Individual soft skills – managing our time, setting our priorities, organizing ourselves so we accomplish what is important each day – there are materials out there to provide the knowledge in how to get that one going.

Obviously, Not!

Porterfield ’8:50’: But there are others in that same set of Individual soft skills – like loyalty, and similar to that – where those are not so obvious. There’s not an app for perseverance. Unless you get your app for exercising and it motivates you to persevere and to get out and do your steps each day. That’s a little removed from actually developing the soft skill of perseverance. What we see is that these soft skills get developed through experience, as we have mentioned before. We need to have that experience of successfully persevering, successfully being proactive and seeing the positive results from that. Sometimes we can go through a self-reflective process, the need to persevere. If people self-reflect and then act upon that, and they say there’s this issue and I have been meaning to talk with my coworker about. I am going to take that effort and go out and do it and see those positive results. That’s great, but having a peer coach to come alongside us and tell us, “Hey, you said you were having trouble being proactive. What’s one thing you want to address this week?” Have that followup. Have that accountability, some coaching, some mentoring, some followup. Others of us might be able to lead ourselves through a self-reflective process and self-evaluation to be able to make progress on that.

That process of making progress on soft skills is one of the challenges of soft skills and one of the reasons why soft skills haven’t gotten the attention they deserve.

Porterfield ’10:54’: Learning algebra, learning to do an analysis in statistics – we can cookbook that. We can give problems, exercises and homework. We can give feedback on that. And then people go back and work on it and get better. Those hard skills are learned still through experience, but it is a different experiential process. It’s different from developing a soft skill. We see some of those difficulties in developing a soft skill compared to a hard skill.

Why People May Walk Away

Porterfield ’11:28’: The difficulties might encourage someone to say, “That’s too tough. I’m not going to deal with it.”

Soft skills can get sidelined.

Graham: ’11:37’: There’s another way for me to develop some soft skills, which is just watching people who are successful and saying this person is did this, they achieved this. What can I learn from that? What did they do? To me the lesson in perseverance is to look at one we talk about a million times: Steve Jobs and the glass screen on the iPhone. If you want the movie or read the book by Walt Issacson, you see it was going to a glass screen. They said it can’t be a glass screen. And Jobs said it has to be a glass screen. They said it won’t work, it won’t work, it won’t work. But lo and behold, he perseveres and achieves. Whenever I am faced with a situation in my career where I don’t think I can succeed, I go back to Jobs and say, “Maybe this is my glass-screen moment.” And I need to persevere. It can be a big thing or a little thing. That’s just one example from me.

Finding Other People’s Gold

Graham ’12:48’: I like to look at other people, what they do that’s successful and what they don’t do that might have made them successful. Some of them have great ideas and achieve great results. Some have great ideas and don’t achieve great results. Sometimes dissecting what didn’t work can be very instructive in knowing what in the future could work.

Porterfield ’13:19’: Let’s tie it a little closer to home to the eye of the hunter. By now, I hope our network is a little more sensitized and they are seeing those soft skills in action. It might be something where we can be just a little more attentive to our interactions with a group of people and see soft skills in action in other people. We can look at how they persevered, when they pulled back on a topic and let it ferment some and when they introduced it. How did they manage that conversation to, in the end, influence the direction things would go? We all probably have some great examples in our own circles that we can draw. That approach also gives us the opportunity to speak to that person and say, “Wow, I saw how you did this in the meeting. Wow, how did you learn to do that? How do you know when to do that?”

We all have that opportunity to create what I call an ad-hoc mentoring relationship.

Porterfield ’14:24’: It doesn’t have to be a formal relationship, but we can say, “I respect how you did that. Help me understand it because I want to be able to use that soft skill.”

Trying Someone Else’s Glasses On

Graham ’14:37’: I have been blessed in my career with people who I have been able to go to after a meeting or after they did something and say to them, “Walk me through your thought process.” It is amazingly insightful to hear someone describe their thought process in using a soft skill. You realize that their internal logic is somewhat different from your own.

It can be incredibly enlightening to see how someone else perceives how something happened.

Graham ’15:10’: All it requires is to ask someone. Usually, they are very interested in the opportunity because it’s a way to recognize someone who’s doing something successfully. It doesn’t have to be formal. I hear from my students all the time is the question of whether it should be a formal mentoring relationship, a written contract kind of thing. Mentoring doesn’t have to be formal. It can be as simple as I want to be more like Toby in some way, and I may never tell Toby what that thing is. I just start to look at how you do that thing and I start to think about how I can do it better from watching you do it.

The First Step To Start Improving Your Soft Skills

Graham ’15:46’: The other thing I wanted to throw out there because we are talking about this and how we do this as an individual, saying, “I’m going to be a better listener” or “I’m going to manage my time better.” We have to ask what would that look like? What are the steps I need to take to make that happen.

The first step is really saying to ourselves, I am going to try to be better at this soft skill.

Graham ’16:23’: We have a list of over 50 soft skills. It would be impossible to work on all of the soft skills at one time. If you could work on two at any given time, that would be great. You may also find the case where you are working on your listening skills because you have a day-long retreat at work and that‘s a great day to work the soft skill of listening. But another day, you are meeting with a vendor and you may have to be working on the soft skill of being proactive because you know problems are coming up. That soft skills landscape changes situationally. Just talking through this, you can’t always know which soft skill you need to be working on. It changes quite quickly and sometimes we might be addressing more than one.

Those Individual Soft Skills Are…

Porterfield ’17:12’: That’s a good way to assess it. Let’s wrap it up with what we identify as those Individual soft skills. Maybe people can use it almost as a scorecard. We can provide the list of these soft skills on our website at SeriousSoftSkills.com. If you want to go through and kind of rate yourself, we’ll have them there. Let me go through them. You can see where you rank on them and think about where you might want to do some work to get better.

  • Working independently
  • Being proactive
  • Being detail oriented
  • Having a positive attitude
  • Being a lifelong learner
  • Being loyal
  • Stress management
  • Listening skills
  • Persistence
  • Self-motivation
  • Time management

They are in no particular order, but those are the soft skills we pulled together out of the 50 soft skills and said those are the ones that start with me.

Making Improvements

Graham ’18:18’: I counted five that I need to work on. I guess I have my work to do before the next episode. Some might say I need to work on seven or eight of the list of what nine or 11 we put out there. No one has to know that you are doing this. This is something you can do that you can assess this on your own and do this on your own. You may find someone saying you are different or better. For instance, someone might say, “You’ve been on time to meetings a lot more. What’s going on?” Or you may never get that kind of feedback. But inside, you know you have gotten better at these Individual soft skills, which start the ball running toward some of these more complex soft skills.

Next Week’s Episode

Porterfield ’18:59’: Bob, this is a good point to wrap up this episode. We’ve spelled out and identified those Individual soft skills, which are really close to who we are. In our next episode, let’s expand from there and look at those soft skills we use in one-on-one interactions.

Graham ’19:15’: Thanks for doing that closing, Toby, but you forgot two things. You forgot to thank people for listening, telling them to have a good day, and of course, your favorite thing, good soft skills.